Squirm Factor 10 - Bonk, notes on Sex

Laughing Scared has room from non-supernatural horrors as well, like this excerpt from Bonk, the Science of Sex, by Mary Roach. Coincidentally, I just had a punch biopsy recently, and was feeling kinda worked over and sorry for myself until I remembered this "procedure".

Word spread. By 1916, the nut graft had gone mainstream. The next step in the operation, Dr. Hsu has named the inside out maneuver. Though it is not so much inside out as just out. Using his gloved fingers, Dr. Hsu pulls the man’s penis up and out of the skin, through the three-inch slit, by its midshaft. ….. Dr. Hsu’s nurse is unwrapping the second implant, for the other erectile chamber. This one does not go gently. The insertion is done in two stages. One end is submerged down to the pubis bone …

Bejesus Stash.

Behind an abandoned greenhouse yesterday, I found a huge tarry pile of ... I wanted to say shit, but that's not quite the right word. Elephant chum. No, that's not right either. Anyway, I wondered what the hell I had stumbled onto, and then I found this entry and am convinced I found a Bejesus stash. Smelled a little like soured ambergris oil. Brought some back for examination. Hell, I always wondered when someone had the Bejesus scared out of him, who cleaned it up, where did it go? Is it recyclable?

Now I know. Bejesus is a natural hormone found within the bodies of most humans. It is generated at a steady rate by the bejesus gland, located somewhere between the feet and the brain. This hormone is what the religious types are referring to when they talk about finding Jesus inside yourself or say that there is Jesus in everyone. During times of fear, it is excreted from several holes in the body, hence the term to "scare the bejesus out of someone." For reasons stated below, the substance is much sought after."

Goo of Death or Cottage Cheese

How can one resist headlines like Goo of Death Solves Headless Corpse Mystery? (Sounds like a job for Mystery Inc.)

Its texture can vary. While this corpse's adipocere resembled concrete, fresher adipocere can be softer. "A lot of people say it's greasy, I always think of it like a thick cottage cheese consistency, because it's kind of lumpy, also," said Ann Ross, an anthropologist at North Carolina State University, who has encountered adipocere in her own investigations. "Now you'll never eat cottage cheese."