Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Odd Rods, Those Were the Days My Friend ...

I thought they'd never end. Hmmm. I don't turn 50 for a few more years, but nevertheless I am feeling all weepy and nostalgic tonight and thinking back on one of my earliest love affairs with monsters. These bad boys from the 60s. Odd Rod stickers, baby. While other kids collected baseball cards, I collected these.And even gnawed away on the bark like stick of gum that came in each pack. You want to see some awesome creatures, lookie lookie. My kid runs around collecting Magic the Gathering cards, or Yu-Gi-Oh. Can you say generation Gap? Come on, feast your eyes on Super Fuzz.

Nosferatu. Not That One.

this one.
Ah, here's to those moments when your personal life and Blog theme happily come together. Nosferatu Imperial Red Ale, a craft brew from Great Lakes Brewing Co in Cleveland. How good is it? An A- over at Beer Advocate (for those of you into craft brews. Some of the profiles will say "amber" color, but blood red is more like it.

Here's my rating:

Cream-colored head, lacy as Lucy's nightgown.

Bitter malts with twist of caramel notes combine with a bold, earthy "who let the corpse out of the crypt" hop aroma.

Floral hops creep over the tongue, and run smoothly from the corners of your mouth during gulps. Shadowy cinnamon notes.

Moderate carbonation. Prepare to burp. Thick, sticky mouth feel. Jugular thick.

Coming it at 8% ABV, one or two bottles will give you the Renfield tremors. If you're lucky.

True, it's just a beer. But I have no problem calling it Master and doing its bidding. (Hench-sous that I am.) Sadly, it is seasonal and will only be around for a few months, or until the sun comes up. One of the two.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Laughing Scared - REC

I am not the most rabid Zombie or Zombie movie fan. I like ‘em, and have seen about as many as there are out there, but there are far more committed fans of the genre. Though I am really anticipating Jaun of the Dead (thanks HS). Hell, I’ve never even lurched through a Zombie walk. I would, but Ohio hasn’t had one yet that I know about. Back to movies, though. Among Zombie flicks, REC (especially the final sequence,) had me more freaking bunched up in knots than any Z-flick I have ever seen, and mostly because of this scary bastard.
That scene is some kind of perfect storm of imagery: the night vision, the way this thing moved, the physicality of it, the total darkness and the sound of the reporter panting in terror. Ugh! If you read my first ever post, you know that the title of my blog speaks to my habit of laughing & chuckling uneasily when I am really scared. Suffice it to say, this movie, mostly the final act, had me laughing my ass off. I would love to hear from others about which Zombie movies, and even which favorite Zombie characters, they have found to be truly scary.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

I'll Show You Mine - Voyeur Forensics

Writing space. Here's where I try to write when I try to write, poetry, horror shorts, my freelance work. Here's where I throw shit that doesn't have a place to go. In fact, if I were to inventory everything on and in my desk I would probably have enough to open an eBay store.

Now, a close-up bookcase pic is also nice (so I can see what other people horde,) but even more cool are writing space pix. Is yours a rats nest, or freakishly tidy; or are you like what's his face who used compose in the bath tub.

The photo gives me a perspective I don't get actually sitting at the desk.Taking a close look, it strikes me that I horde left and write right. Also, you might also conclude I like a good bargain and buy notebooks on sale after the back to school rush (see yellow sticker). Looking at the abused wood surface, someone might decide I am clumsy with my coffee or least, never use coasters. That I have a red pen might suggest I am a strict about usage a punctuation--though my writing on Laughing Scared would argue against that. The analysis of work spaces, let's call it Voyeur Forensics, is a b-line to the real you, the naked you. So, anyone willing to show yourself? If you post a pic of your work space on your Blog let me know. Trust me, I am licensed in Voyeur Forensics.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Close Encounter of the MUFON Kind

I am kicking around my thoughts about the MUFON (Mutual UFO Network) meeting I attended last night. My first ever. Held at the lovely Barberton Public Library, meeting room #2. Really enjoyed the presenter’s portion of the talk about his methods of investigation. (Side note: up until the speaker demonstrated how he used Algebra to plot flight paths, and a host of other calculations, I thought I might like to be a field investigator. But I can forget about it. Honestly, I don’t remember Mulder talking about Trig and Algebra. Bite me, Math. Bite me.) Mid-way, the presentation was sort of co-opted by several audience members who wanted to talk for a long time about their close encounters. Like the man says, “I want to believe” but the whole event, in particular the longlonglong audience accounts of lifted nightgowns and gray cigar shaped floaty dealies did nothing to cement my trust. So I was a little bummed about the whole experience this morning but then I got this kick ass I dig your Blog award from Robin.

So hey, here’s how it works. And remember, “Watch the skies!”

I Dig Your Blog Award Protocol:
1 ) Gratefully accept this award.
2 ) Link to the person you received it from. That would be Robin who, seriously, seems to have some freaky kind of magic touch when it comes to helping me resolve Blogger design and template issues.
3 ) Post 3 interesting facts about yourself.
4 ) Pass this award around to at least 5 blogs you dig.
5 ) Notify them

Okay, here are the three things ... interesting, though? Tough call.

A cat once began giving birth on my lap.

As a boy I climbed, as much as I could, inside a dead, beached whale's mouth.

My first job was catching snakes (I think I was about 8) for a science teacher at the University of San Jose. Fifty cents a snake.

I Dig Your Blog Recipients:

Accidental Dong Very influential. Now I see accidental dongs everywhere.

Horror Smorgasbord
Not just another pretty clown face. The place where I get a frequent heads up on new horror releases (especially foreign) that I didn’t even know where out there. Juan of the Dead, for example. This guy must have Hell on speed dial coz he seems to have an insider's connex to all the badass horror movies.

Jonathan's Haunted House of Horror
Plenty of old school horror discussion here. Lately lots of Lon Chaney posts.

Monster Magazine World.
Choice Monster Mag & other goodies blog here. Reminds me, have not yet gone through the old Monster Times issues I bought from eBay recently.

Deadly Doll's House of Horrors She saw Child's Play when she was six. Thank goodness otherwise maybe no blog. Lots of creepy doll stuff but very eclectic.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Chet Zar, Dark Art

Say Hello to the Interloper and down below, Grimm
Click here to see more of Chet Zar.

It! The Terror from Beyond Space

In the silent void of outer space, puny man matches his cunning against a monster from Mars. A group of likeable Joes and Janes in space land on a mysterious planet for something of a rescue mission; and once they have left and are back in space they realize they have some THING on board, and it proceeds to open a can of whup ass on the entire crew. Sounds like Alien and plays out like a true precursor. As far as old sci-fi goes this is very watchable. If you have kids, think of it as a tame version of Alien you can share until they are actually old enough for the stomach burst scene, et al. The parallels are quite endless, right down to the iconic 'shooting the shit' scene around the mess in which we meet everybody.
Of course, you wouldn't see Ridley pouring anyone's coffee.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Ho Ho Ho, Green Creepy Ass Giant

Never understood why anyone would make a giant their spokesthing. This Mr. Clean meets the Hulk morph always creeped me out as a kid--not an inspiring figure to encourage vegetable eating unless their plan was an implied 'eat your vegetables or the giant will get you'.
I would put the Spot Maker, spotting and streaking your dishes, in the same camp. Kinda look like a Green Goblin knock off shooting around the inside of a dishwasher. Scary.

Mammoth Best of the Best

Back home after a trip to Grand Rapids, Michigan, where I found this Best of the Best at one of my old favorite bookstores. Generally snatch up the Mammoth collections when I find them, and bought this specifically for The Man Who Drew Cats. Anyone out there already read this and care to recommend their favorite story?

Friday, August 12, 2011

Monsters are Due at The Blue Hotel

The Swede answered him swiftly and eagerly: "These men are going to kill me."

Smell that? That line reeks with the heady bouquet of Fear.

One of the most interesting studies in fear & mob/pack violence, with some xenophobic spasms thrown in for good measure, is Stephen Crane's Blue Hotel.
Is there something in the smell of fear that provokes aggression? Ask the Swede from the story. Does perceived weakness and vulnerability in an individual provoke violence from others? In a perfect world, presented with an individual who is afraid, fearful, those feelings would be met with compassion (like Morrissey says it takes guts to be gentle and kind). Naturally enough, in Crane's Blue Hotel, one character's fear escalates an attack against him with dire consequences. Maybe in a deep down dark place we are wired biologically (read imperative) to come down hard on fear and weakness. I remember being warned as a kid, when around strange or growling dogs, "Don't let them know you are afraid". Or maybe it was walk don't run. Any pheromone experts out there? If animals can scent fear, can human's to some degree? Anyway, here is a link to Crane's story on line.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Mysterious Goo is Blob Spelled Backwards, No?

Swan says she didn't smell anything odd when she dipped her hand into the substance.
Good Lord, she dipped her hand into it? Has she never seen The Blob--and that poor bastard only poked it with a stick. In my rule book, clearly stated on page 32., it reads, never dip hands into mysterious goo even if it appears fluffy friendly and playful like pureed cheese puffs. If only she'd had my book. My prayers are with Swan, and with what's left, conceivably, of her dissolving corpus.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Haunted by Cleavage

Ummm, thinking, thinking, thinking ... Heather Locklear's horror connection ... is there one? I am not sure but while I snoop around, I have to put this up because of the guy to the right on the pic and his downward gaze--sad to be the guy caught on film oogling boobs. Doubt he is mesmerized by her jewelery. I'm going to go with Haunted by Cleavage. That's a good enough connection for me.

P.S. editing the post here to report that Return of the Swamp Thing, and something something Terror where two Locklear films in the genre. I'm sure they were fabulous sorry I missed em.

Turkey Scare

Horror is horror, whether it's knife wielding lunatics or the Department of Agriculture doing a bang up job. Case and point. Last night for dinner, we tried a new dish .... turkey patties with rosemary, lemon, etc. It wasn't bad, but (and timing is everything, right?) after dinner I saw the headlines.

When it comes to bad meat, I can't help but thinking we're a few bites shy of mass outbreaks of disease--and then Zombie territory. I mean, who is to say how they Apocalypse begins, how we'll end. Perhaps it'll be neither a whimper or a bang as TS wrote, but with Green meat.